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Thread: Taking a dump.

  1. #411
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    "singersp" wrote:
    "jmcdon00" wrote:
    "BadlandsViking" wrote:
    "singersp" wrote:

    The Childbirth Dump

    This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf". You realize you'll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do:
    1. Scream
    2. Call an Obstetrician
    3. Hope like hell have enough Vaseline to get you through it.
    Is there something wrong with you if that happens everytime?
    8)
    If you are using vaseline to take a crap, yes there is something wrong with you.
    He's using Vaseline for other smaller jobs.
    Yeah, just never get in a hurry and accidentally grab the super glue bottle
    :-\


  2. #412
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    [img width=400 height=369]http://www.thefartmachine.com/images/toilet-for-two.jpg[/img]
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  3. #413
    cogitans is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    "Prophet" wrote:
    [img width=400 height=369]http://www.thefartmachine.com/images/toilet-for-two.jpg[/img]
    If only women understood this

    Thanks to PPE for the sig.

  4. #414
    cogitans is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    Sheryl Blog


    I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of conserving trees which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.
    Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit,
    except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

    Thanks to PPE for the sig.

  5. #415
    Prophet's Avatar
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    If you go with the one-square rule you might as well just use no TP and go with the squeaky clean technique.
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  6. #416
    The Dropper's Avatar
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    I would favor eliminating TP altogether and opt for the warm splash of water method instead. As a bonus, not only would it save trees and keep plumbing from being gummed up, it would also reduce the incidents of chap-ass.

  7. #417
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    "cogitans" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:
    [img width=400 height=369]http://www.thefartmachine.com/images/toilet-for-two.jpg[/img]
    If only women understood this
    this is hilarious... i love it

  8. #418
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    "Prophet" wrote:
    [img width=400 height=369]http://www.thefartmachine.com/images/toilet-for-two.jpg[/img]
    Unfortunately, I have seen a few a$$es that would fit much better on that model all by themselves!
    (of course, they would need to modify the middle section just a bit!)
    I'd much rather see the Packers miss the playoffs because of their talent then because of their injuries.

  9. #419
    cogitans is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Taking a dump.


    Thanks to PPE for the sig.

  10. #420
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    any1 else ever notice that when you are really really drunk.. and the room starts spinning.. you run to upchuck.. and realize that something else is coming..

    as you finish shaking.. your muscles relax from their stressed clinching.. and.. whamo..
    dump time..

    which do u go for.. the mid air spin move? or just let it fall on the floor?

    DiGiTaL

    "We tried to stick with it, but there was a point where we were beating our head against a wall," Seattle Coach Mora talking about running at the Williams Wall

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