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  1. #411
    BloodyHorns82's Avatar
    BloodyHorns82 is offline Jersey Retired Feed The Frog Champion
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Q. What do you call a cow who is having a seizure?















    A. Beef Jerky!

  2. #412
    6-KINGS Guest

    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "cajunvike" wrote:
    "6-KINGS" wrote:
    The perfect Wal-Mart Greeter

    A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into WalMart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way > through the entrance.
    The WalMart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Walmart ....
    Nice children you've got there - are they twins?"


    The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no
    they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one,
    she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really
    think they look alike?"

    "No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"

    WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Repeating jokes ONCE is understandable...repeating them TWICE borders on ignorance...but then we have to take into account that it is 6-KINGS doing it...so we have to just cut his short-bus riding butt some slack!!! :lol:
    Well what is this..........
    Otis the chubby lawyer is one to talk.
    20000 posts and he has covered 1 subject.
    HIMSELF! :smile:

  3. #413
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    When Ole and Lena were young and in love they would got to there favorite spot to park. One night while parked hugging and kissing Ole asks Lena, "Lena how would you like to go in the back?"
    "No," she replies. So they hug and kiss some more. Again, Ole asks Lena to go in the back. Lena replies, "Ole, why are you always asking me to go in the back, I want to stay in front with you!"

  4. #414
    cajunvike's Avatar
    cajunvike is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "6-KINGS" wrote:
    "cajunvike" wrote:
    "6-KINGS" wrote:
    The perfect Wal-Mart Greeter

    A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into WalMart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way > through the entrance.
    The WalMart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Walmart ....
    Nice children you've got there - are they twins?"


    The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no
    they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one,
    she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really
    think they look alike?"

    "No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"

    WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Repeating jokes ONCE is understandable...repeating them TWICE borders on ignorance...but then we have to take into account that it is 6-KINGS doing it...so we have to just cut his short-bus riding butt some slack!!! :lol:
    Well what is this..........
    Otis the chubby lawyer is one to talk.
    20000 posts and he has covered 1 subject.
    HIMSELF! :smile:
    And that should be worth AT LEAST another 30,000 posts...if not more! :grin:
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  5. #415
    cajunvike's Avatar
    cajunvike is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "mr.woo" wrote:
    An honest lawyer
    HA HA!!!! stop it youre killing me ......
    oh wait theres more....:lol:
    Oh, I'll be killing you alright...nice and slow so that I can draw out the painful parts in order to inflict maximum suffering before you die! :evil4:
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  6. #416
    Join Date
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    1,185

    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "mr.woo" wrote:
    An honest lawyer
    HA HA!!!! stop it youre killing me ......
    oh wait theres more....:lol:

    :lol: :lol: :lol:
    http://www.myspace.com/pooptin


  7. #417
    FedjeViking is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Cajun, don't you know how to put two quotes in the same reply and answer both in that one post?



    A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
    They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that
    they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to
    help them remember.
    Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
    His wife asks, "Where are you going?"
    "To the kitchen" he replies.
    "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
    "Sure."
    "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
    "No, I can remember it."
    "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know
    you'll forget it."
    He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
    "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts.
    Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Leave me alone!
    Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen.
    After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
    She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast?


    Keep Reading


    A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
    "So I hear you're getting married?"
    "Yep!"
    "Do I know her?"
    "Nope!"
    "This woman, is she good looking?"
    "Not really."
    "Is she a good cook?"
    "Naw, she can't cook too well."
    "Does she have
    lots of money?"
    "Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
    "Well then, is she good in bed?"
    "I don't know."
    "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
    "Because she can still drive!"


    Keep Reading



    Three old guys are out walking.
    First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
    Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
    Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."


    Keep Reading



    A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid.
    It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
    "Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?"
    "Twelve thirty ."


    Keep Reading


    Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw
    Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
    A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
    Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
    The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful.'"


    Keep Reading



    A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly,
    painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
    The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
    "No," he replied, "Arthritis."
    [move]"Our day WILL come!! I just hope I LIVE long enough to see it!"[/move]

  8. #418
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Sven says, "Hey Ole, you may want to invest in some drapes for your bedroom. Last night I kinda saw you and Lena going to town."
    Ole says, "The joke's on you, Sven; I wasn't even home last night!"

  9. #419
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    OLE ANSWERED the phone and came back to the living room crying.
    "Well, Ole! What in the world is the matter?" asked the sympathetic Lena.
    "I just had bad news, Lena," said Ole, "My father just died."
    Just then the rang again, Ole went to answer it and came back crying again.
    "Well, now, Ole, what is the matter?" asked Lena.
    "That was my brother." said Ole. "His father just died too!"

  10. #420
    VikingPatrick is offline Rookie
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    There is a fly sitting on a pile of crap......
    another fly lands next to him and proceeds to fart....
    The other fly looks at him in disgust and yells.....
    "Do you mind...Im eating"
    When All else fails....at least theres Football. Beer, and Women (not necessarily in that order)

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