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  1. #1481
    Prophet's Avatar
    Prophet is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Life on an NFL message board:

    [img width=450 height=406]http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comicbullyroot.jpg[/img]
    http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comicbullyroot.jpg
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  2. #1482
    cogitans is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "Prophet" wrote:
    Life on an NFL message board:

    [img width=450 height=406]http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comicbullyroot.jpg[/img]
    http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comicbullyroot.jpg
    Who took your rat poison then?

    Thanks to PPE for the sig.

  3. #1483
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "Prophet" wrote:
    Life on an NFL message board:

    [img width=450 height=406]http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comicbullyroot.jpg[/img]
    http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comicbullyroot.jpg
    I don't get it
    :-

  4. #1484
    Garland Greene's Avatar
    Garland Greene is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. 'Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.'

    Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into trouble
    at school and at home. Carol's mother asked her if she thought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, of course, thought she did.

    Carol's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted her to reflect on her
    behavior over the last year, and write a letter to God and tell him why she deserved a bike for her birthday. Little Carol stomped up the steps to her room and sat down to write God a letter.



    LETTER 1:

    Dear God:

    I have been a very good girl this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

    Your friend,

    Carol



    Carol knew this wasn't true. She had not been a very good girl this year, so she tore up the letter and started over.




    LETTER 2:

    Dear God:

    This is your friend Carol. I have been a pretty good girl this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday.

    Thank you,

    Carol



    Carol knew this wasn't true either. She tore up the letter and started again.



    LETTER 3:

    Dear God:

    I know I haven't been a good girl this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good girl if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.

    Thank you,

    Carol



    Carol knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get her a bike. By now, she was very upset. She went downstairs and told her mother she wanted
    to go to church. Carol's mother thought her plan had worked because Carol looked very sad.


    'Just be home in time for dinner,' her mother said.

    Carol walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. She looked around to see if anyone was there. She picked up a statue of the Virgin
    Mary, slipped it under her jacket and ran out of the church, down the street, into her house, and up to her room. She shut the door and sat down and wrote her letter to God.




    LETTER 4:

    I GOT YOUR MAMA.

    IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.


    Signed,

    YOU KNOW WHO

  5. #1485
    Marrdro's Avatar
    Marrdro is offline Beware My Spreadsheet, Bitches!
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "Garland" wrote:
    Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. 'Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.'

    Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into trouble
    at school and at home. Carol's mother asked her if she thought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, of course, thought she did.

    Carol's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted her to reflect on her
    behavior over the last year, and write a letter to God and tell him why she deserved a bike for her birthday. Little Carol stomped up the steps to her room and sat down to write God a letter.



    LETTER 1:

    Dear God:

    I have been a very good girl this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

    Your friend,

    Carol



    Carol knew this wasn't true. She had not been a very good girl this year, so she tore up the letter and started over.




    LETTER 2:

    Dear God:

    This is your friend Carol. I have been a pretty good girl this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday.

    Thank you,

    Carol



    Carol knew this wasn't true either. She tore up the letter and started again.



    LETTER 3:

    Dear God:

    I know I haven't been a good girl this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good girl if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.

    Thank you,

    Carol



    Carol knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get her a bike. By now, she was very upset. She went downstairs and told her mother she wanted
    to go to church. Carol's mother thought her plan had worked because Carol looked very sad.


    'Just be home in time for dinner,' her mother said.

    Carol walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. She looked around to see if anyone was there. She picked up a statue of the Virgin
    Mary, slipped it under her jacket and ran out of the church, down the street, into her house, and up to her room. She shut the door and sat down and wrote her letter to God.




    LETTER 4:

    I GOT YOUR MAMA.

    IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.


    Signed,

    YOU KNOW WHO
    Good one.
    Many many thanks to my talented friend Jos for the new Sig.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v343/josdin00/Vikings/Marrdro_sig.jpg

  6. #1486
    Marrdro's Avatar
    Marrdro is offline Beware My Spreadsheet, Bitches!
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Woman can be sneaky.
    Watch out for this trick.
    ;D

    Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Jenny arrived home from work
    to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and Another
    in the dryer.

    Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!

    It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said wives who work full
    time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.

    The night went well, and the next day she told her office friends all about
    it. "We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up. He helped the kids do
    their homework, folded all the laundry, and put it away.

    I really enjoyed the evening."

    "But what about afterward?" asked her friends.
    Oh, that. . . Ralph was too tired."

    God is good.


    Many many thanks to my talented friend Jos for the new Sig.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v343/josdin00/Vikings/Marrdro_sig.jpg

  7. #1487
    Prophet's Avatar
    Prophet is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


    Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

    Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


    Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


    Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

    Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  8. #1488
    cogitans is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "Prophet" wrote:
    Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


    Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

    Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


    Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


    Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

    Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
    I don't think most of those things are only in America

    Thanks to PPE for the sig.

  9. #1489
    Prophet's Avatar
    Prophet is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "cogitans" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:
    Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


    Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

    Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


    Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


    Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

    Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
    I don't think most of those things are only in America
    That just adds to the retardedness of the post.
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  10. #1490
    cogitans is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "Prophet" wrote:
    "cogitans" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:
    Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


    Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

    Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


    Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


    Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

    Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
    I don't think most of those things are only in America
    That just adds to the retardedness of the post.
    Which is a good thing. Retarded posts are what holds this community together.

    Thanks to PPE for the sig.

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