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  1. #121
    FedjeViking is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    One fine spring day, Ole decided to take Lena for a drive in his new car. As they were driving through town, a policeman pulled them over and told Ole that he was doing 50 miles an
    hour in a 30 zone.

    "Oh, no", Ole protested, "I vas only doing thirty, Officer."

    "No, you were doing fifty", replied the cop.

    "Really, Officer, I vas only doing thirty", Ole replied stubbornly.

    "Well", sniffed the cop, "I clocked you doing fifty!"

    At that point, Lena, sitting in the back seat and trying to be helpful, spoke up. "Officer...you really shouldn't argue vit Ole ven he's been drinking."
    [move]"Our day WILL come!! I just hope I LIVE long enough to see it!"[/move]

  2. #122
    cajunvike's Avatar
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "kjdaddy" wrote:
    A guy walked into a bar with a giant orange head. Grown men gasped, women screamed, glasses were dropped and broken. The bartender picked up his jaw and said, "Dude, what's the deal with the head?"

    "Well..." He replied, "I found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie came out and granted me 3 wishes for giving him his freedom.

    1st, I wished for many riches and suddenly, my bank account registered 25 million dollars.

    Secondly, I wished for a beautiful woman and we were married last week.

    With my 3rd wish, and I think this is where I might have gone wrong....

    I wished for a giant orange head."
    ???
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  3. #123
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "cajunvike" wrote:
    "kjdaddy" wrote:
    A guy walked into a bar with a giant orange head. Grown men gasped, women screamed, glasses were dropped and broken. The bartender picked up his jaw and said, "Dude, what's the deal with the head?"

    "Well..." He replied, "I found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie came out and granted me 3 wishes for giving him his freedom.

    1st, I wished for many riches and suddenly, my bank account registered 25 million dollars.

    Secondly, I wished for a beautiful woman and we were married last week.

    With my 3rd wish, and I think this is where I might have gone wrong....

    I wished for a giant orange head."
    ???
    Please explain last wish?

  4. #124
    ThorSPL's Avatar
    ThorSPL is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    I didn't get that one either.


    Trust me, I'm a doctor.

    www.twitter.com/ThorSPL

  5. #125
    singersp's Avatar
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "ThorSPL" wrote:
    I didn't get that one either.
    I do believe he's got the color orange confused with the color purple. :wink:

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  6. #126
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a canoe?" "No, I don't," said Ole. "A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.

  7. #127
    FedjeViking is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."

    Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river -- look, my suit's still damp -- ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."

    "You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."
    [move]"Our day WILL come!! I just hope I LIVE long enough to see it!"[/move]

  8. #128
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Where Babies Come From

    A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?"

    "Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

    "But then when I have a baby," the teenager pondered, "won't it knock all my teeth out?"

  9. #129
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "singersp" wrote:
    "ThorSPL" wrote:
    I didn't get that one either.
    I do believe he's got the color orange confused with the color purple. :wink:
    What does Oprah have to do with this joke anyways??? :lol:
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  10. #130
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "FedjeViking" wrote:
    Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."

    Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river -- look, my suit's still damp -- ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."

    "You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."
    Truer words have NEVER been spoken! :evil4:
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

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