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  1. #1031
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    A snake went to the eye doctor for his first checkup.
    The doctor gave the snake a new pair of glasses and told him to come back in a week for a follow up.
    The next week the snake came back and the doctor
    asked him how he like the glasses.
    The snake said they are great, I didn't realize I was sleeping with a garden hose all these years.

  2. #1032
    SageVike is offline Starter
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Nice 1. heres a good 1



    YO Mama So Fat!! She Plays Pool with the Planets


  3. #1033
    Billy Boy is offline Hall of Famer
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "SageVike" wrote:
    Nice 1. heres a good 1



    YO Mama So Fat!! She Plays Pool with the Planets

    Ha, I saw Sage had posted a joke and I had to check it out.


    Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

    Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

    Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

    That brings me back to the good old days a little bit.


    All the kids my age pee their pants, it's the coolest.

  4. #1034
    i_bleed_purple's Avatar
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "Billy" wrote:
    "SageVike" wrote:
    Nice 1. heres a good 1



    YO Mama So Fat!! She Plays Pool with the Planets

    Ha, I saw Sage had posted a joke and I had to check it out.


    Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

    Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

    Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

    That brings me back to the good old days a little bit.
    yo mama so old she waited tables at the last supper

    yo mama smells so bad speed stick slowed down and stopped

    yo mama so ugly when she goes in a bank they turn off the cameras

    yo mama so short you can see her feet in her drivers license

    yo mama so fat her picture fell off the wall.

  5. #1035
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Fedje's joke thread doesn't need Yo mama crap.

  6. #1036
    Billy Boy is offline Hall of Famer
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    "BadlandsViking" wrote:
    Fedje's joke thread doesn't need Yo mama crap.
    Ha, apparently we just defiled the sanctity of this thread.


    Don't worry about it, I don't think she will take them personal.
    This thread won't be taken over by Yo Momma jokes.

    Game on.


    All the kids my age pee their pants, it's the coolest.

  7. #1037
    FedjeViking is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Right...we don't need dumb yo mama jokes!

    Three little ducks go into a Bar..............


    "Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.

    "Huey," was the reply.

    "How's your day been, Huey?"

    "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What
    else could a duck want?" said Huey .

    "Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi,
    and what's your name?"

    "Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.

    "So how's your day been, Dewey! ?" he asked.

    "Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day
    myself. What else could a duck want?"

    The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"


    "No," she said, batting her eyelashes.

    "My name is Puddles."
    [move]"Our day WILL come!! I just hope I LIVE long enough to see it!"[/move]

  8. #1038
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    jmcdon00 is offline Jersey Retired Snake Champion, Moto Trial Fest 2: Mountain Pack Champion, LL City Truck 2 Champion, Arithmetic sequence Champion, Troops Tower Defense Champion
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    bloodyhorns is lost in the woods when he come to a farmhouse.
    he goes up to the door and asks the farmer if he can stay the night
    the farmer says yes and takes bloodyhorns to the spare bedroom
    before the farmer leaves he makes bloodyhorns promise not to stick his dick in any of the three holes in the wall
    after the farmer leaves bloodyhorns gets curious about the 3 holes in the wall
    so he sticks his dick in the first hole, it feels terrific
    so decides to try the second hole, it feels even better than the first
    then bloodyhorns decides to try the last hole, this time it hurts like hell and leaves him in pain for the rest of the night.
    the next morning he goes downstiars for breakfast and asks the farmer where the three holes lead.
    the farmer tells him, the first hole goes into my wifes room, the second hole goes to my daughters room, the third hole is just my elctric pencil sharpener.

  9. #1039
    BloodyHorns82's Avatar
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Well at least I got some use out of it before the ice packs came out.

  10. #1040
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
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    Re: Official Joke Page II

    Rolls-Royce vs. Yugo

    A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce.

    He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!"

    The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly, "Yes, I have a phone."

    The driver of the Yugo said, "Cool! Hey, you also got a fridge in there, too? I've got one in the back seat of my Yugo!"

    The driver of the Rolls, much annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."

    The driver of the Yugo said, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!"

    The driver of the Rolls, quite irritated by now, replied, "Of course, I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"

    The driver of the Yugo said, "Yes, a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!"

    The driver of the Rolls, upset that he did not have a bed, sped away and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered a bed to be installed in the back of his Rolls-Royce.

    The next morning, he returned to pick up his car, and the bed looked superb It came complete with silk sheets and a brass-trimmed headboard. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls-Royce. So the driver of the Rolls began searching for the Yugo. He drove around all day and finally found the Yugo late that night.

    It was parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. He got out and knocked on the window of the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he continued knocking and knocking until finally, the owner of the Yugo lowered the window, and stuck his soaking wet head out.

    "I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.

    The driver of the Yugo looked at him narrowly and said, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!?!"

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