Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20
  1. #1
    C Mac D's Avatar
    C Mac D is offline Posting to P'own
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    Posts
    13,533

    Everything About Farts...

    Thought the boards could use some lightening up...

    Here's everything you could ever want to know about farts. Enjoy!

    http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

    [size=10pt]Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?[/size]



    Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it reaches the anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often pick up other (and more odiferous) components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the anus in fairly large bubbles at body temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not always!) mundane with respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm.


    Another major source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a byproduct as well as various pungent gases. The resulting bubbles of gas tend to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products. These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD (Silent-But-Deadly), often in amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench.
    Disclaimer: I'm an idiot.

  2. #2
    Prophet's Avatar
    Prophet is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    17,388

    Re: Everything About Farts...

    Always good to read about something that is pertinent in life.
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  3. #3
    BloodyHorns82's Avatar
    BloodyHorns82 is offline Jersey Retired Feed The Frog Champion
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    9,691

    Re: Everything About Farts...

    Almost sounds like a description of a fine wine.

  4. #4
    i_bleed_purple's Avatar
    i_bleed_purple is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Canadialand
    Posts
    16,778
    Blog Entries
    2

    Re: Everything About Farts...

    "Prophet" wrote:
    Always good to read about something that is pertinent in life.
    I expected this to be a prophet thread.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    979

    Re: Everything About Farts...

    Love it!!!

    Why are farts so damn funny
    SKOL VIKINGS

  6. #6
    C Mac D's Avatar
    C Mac D is offline Posting to P'own
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    Posts
    13,533

    Re: Everything About Farts...

    "pattyosviKING" wrote:
    Love it!!!

    Why are farts so damn funny
    Good question... the site doesn't answer that. But, "Morning Thunder" is pretty damn funny.

    [size=11pt]At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart?[/size]



    A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as "morning thunder," and if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household.
    Disclaimer: I'm an idiot.

  7. #7
    i_bleed_purple's Avatar
    i_bleed_purple is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Canadialand
    Posts
    16,778
    Blog Entries
    2

    Re: Everything About Farts...

    "pattyosviKING" wrote:
    Love it!!!

    Why are farts so damn funny
    [youtube=425,350]8UvvAx4n2l4[/youtube]

  8. #8
    BloodyHorns82's Avatar
    BloodyHorns82 is offline Jersey Retired Feed The Frog Champion
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    9,691

    Re: Everything About Farts...

    Farts are funny for all ages.
    It's a good family pastime.
    My son has mastered the "bare ass in yo face" farts most recently.
    You have to be careful though because sometimes he puts a little TOO MUCH effort into the squeeze.

  9. #9
    C Mac D's Avatar
    C Mac D is offline Posting to P'own
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    Posts
    13,533

    Re: Everything About Farts...

    "BloodyHorns82" wrote:
    Farts are funny for all ages.
    It's a good family pastime.
    My son has mastered the "bare ass in yo face" farts most recently.
    You have to be careful though because sometimes he puts a little TOO MUCH effort into the squeeze.
    I call that "Splatter Painting"
    Disclaimer: I'm an idiot.

  10. #10
    Zeus's Avatar
    Zeus is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Minnesota.
    Posts
    23,937

    Re: Everything About Farts...

    "BloodyHorns82" wrote:
    Farts are funny for all ages.
    It's a good family pastime.
    My son has mastered the "bare ass in yo face" farts most recently.
    You have to be careful though because sometimes he puts a little TOO MUCH effort into the squeeze.
    In our house, when you fart, those present must say "Nice." in respect.
    The 5-year-old loves that.

    =Z=

    Thanks to Josdin for the awesome sig!

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Don't make fun of people's farts
    By BadlandsVikings in forum The Clubhouse
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-21-2011, 02:15 PM
  2. MOVED: Everything About Farts...
    By ultravikingfan in forum The Clubhouse
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-18-2009, 02:57 AM
  3. Scientists decode brain farts
    By Marrdro in forum The Clubhouse
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-03-2008, 05:00 AM
  4. Kangaroo Farts Have No Methane
    By Frostbite in forum Two Beer Minimum
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 12-12-2007, 01:50 PM
  5. idol farts
    By thetrenches68OL in forum The Clubhouse
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 06-30-2006, 03:24 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •