Thread: Official Red Statement

Geeee Caine if you don't like the guy don't hold back, go ahead and just say so. :lol:

I sure hope the rumors of a sale coming soon are correct. The longer it drags on at this point the worse it is going to be for the Vikes. We will be in danger of losing the FA bidding war if we don't have an owner that is interested in signing anyone.

Come on Red *I wrap my pecker with money as a substitute for sex* sell the damn team now.

"PhillyVikes" wrote:

"Red *colon blocker* McCombs
Red *I wear women's clothing and fondle dog Mcombs
Red *I like to moonlight as a truck stop urinal* wieners* McCombs "

ROFL sums it up perfectly, good post Caine

Caine has way with words!

I really dont think he is going to sell the Vikes this year. Also, I think that if it doesn't happen this year it is not going to happen at all. So...im just holding my breath. Hopefully my predictions are false!

I'm just curious what it would take this offseason for you guys to be happy with Red as the Owner. Sign Peterson to a 150 million contract maybe?

Just put the best product on the field that he POSSIBLY can...I would be happy with him.

"ItalianStallion" wrote:

I'm just curious what it would take this offseason for you guys to be happy with Red as the Owner. Sign Peterson to a 150 million contract maybe?

In order for me to be happy with Red *I wash goat nuts with my tonsils* MCCombs as the owner he would have to show a commitment to WINNING, not whining.

I don't need to see a handful of big-gun free agent signings, I just need to see the Vikes able to acquire what they need, and spend what they need to to get it. Knowing that we had 30 million in cap room, and knowing that there were FA's out there who would've bolstered our "D" isn't helping his cause.

Also, he'd have to be willing to at least partially fund the new stadium. After all, he stands to reap the lion's share of the rewards from it.

Third, he'd have to show a commitment to keeping the Vikings in Minnesota. You want to move MY team, buddy? You're a pole smoker in my book (can you say "North Stars"?...Norm blows squirrels).

Fourth, he have to issue a public apology to Viking fans everywhere for having been such a rotten owner. He'd have to admit that he was only in it for the money, and that he's had a change of heart.

Fifth - and finally - he'd have to hire me to be his Viking Conscience. Everytime he tries to get cheap, or tries to pull a boneheaded move, I'd knock him upside the head with a 2x4. The salary for my job would be @ $450,000 annually, and include full insurance and benefits such as unlimited field passes so I can watch the game from either the suite or the field...and I could bring my friends and family (Maintaining a respectful distance from the players during the game so as not to spoil their concentration, of course). Further, the sexually deviant midget (McCombs) would only be allowed to talk to the press, coaches or team through ME - which means I would be able to short circuit any of his bone headed rants...or I'd again knock him upside the head.

If he does ALL of that, I'll be ok with him. Otherwise....he guzzles gazelle goo by the gallon.

Caine

The only decision that he could make as an owner that would make me happy at this point would be to sell the team.

If you get the job can I be your assistant Caine? I work cheap.. 100k and benefits would be plenty

Red "Waste of Oxygen" McCombs must die!!! He is the worst owner ever!!! Between him and Ted "Spawn of Steckel" Cottrell, I can't decide which one I would like to kill more painfully!!! :violent3:

LOL Caine

"Caine" wrote:

"ItalianStallion" wrote:

I'm just curious what it would take this offseason for you guys to be happy with Red as the Owner. Sign Peterson to a 150 million contract maybe?

In order for me to be happy with Red *I wash goat nuts with my tonsils* MCCombs as the owner he would have to show a commitment to WINNING, not whining.

I don't need to see a handful of big-gun free agent signings, I just need to see the Vikes able to acquire what they need, and spend what they need to to get it. Knowing that we had 30 million in cap room, and knowing that there were FA's out there who would've bolstered our "D" isn't helping his cause.

Also, he'd have to be willing to at least partially fund the new stadium. After all, he stands to reap the lion's share of the rewards from it.

Third, he'd have to show a commitment to keeping the Vikings in Minnesota. You want to move MY team, buddy? You're a pole smoker in my book (can you say "North Stars"?...Norm blows squirrels).

Fourth, he have to issue a public apology to Viking fans everywhere for having been such a rotten owner. He'd have to admit that he was only in it for the money, and that he's had a change of heart.

Fifth - and finally - he'd have to hire me to be his Viking Conscience. Everytime he tries to get cheap, or tries to pull a boneheaded move, I'd knock him upside the head with a 2x4. The salary for my job would be @ $450,000 annually, and include full insurance and benefits such as unlimited field passes so I can watch the game from either the suite or the field...and I could bring my friends and family (Maintaining a respectful distance from the players during the game so as not to spoil their concentration, of course). Further, the sexually deviant midget (McCombs) would only be allowed to talk to the press, coaches or team through ME - which means I would be able to short circuit any of his bone headed rants...or I'd again knock him upside the head.

If he does ALL of that, I'll be ok with him. Otherwise....he guzzles gazelle goo by the gallon.

Caine

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Caine, you must stop this horrendous literary attack on Red "I must save money to fill my used car lots with Gremlins" McCheap because each time I read your posts, I blow perfectly good beer out of my nose!!!!! :thumbright:

"RK" wrote:

The only decision that he could make as an owner that would make me happy at this point would be to sell the team.

If you get the job can I be your assistant Caine? I work cheap.. 100k and benefits would be plenty

Sure, RK. But, do you think 100k is enough? Maybe we should boost that to 200k? After all, this would be the new "reformed" Red, not the Red *I masturbate to Tony Robbins videos* McCombs we're used to.

"PacNWVike" wrote:

Caine, you must stop this horrendous literary attack on Red "I must save money to fill my used car lots with Gremlins" McCheap because each time I read your posts, I blow perfectly good beer out of my nose!!!!!

That's alcohol abuse. Seek treatment IMMEDIATELY.

It's not so much an attack on Red *I blow circus midgets* McCombs as it is an expression of the anger I feel towards Red *I use a Kirby vacuum as a sex toy* McCombs for his refusal to address pressing need of the Vikings in lieu of lining his own *heavily stained from hours of self-abuse* pockets.

If Red *I like to lick chipmuck butts* McCombs would actually put something back into the team instead of taking it out, I wouldn't have such a deep, abiding hatered of Red *I diddle farm animals on the weekends* McCombs.

Caine