My Letter to Santa
How are you? I am fine. I trust Mrs. C and the elves are doing well. Are you fat enough yet? If you aren't, you'd better get off your lazy duff and eat some pudding or lard or something. I saw that Rudolph Christmas special and if you aren't fat enough come Christmas Eve, well, that's sad Santa...just plain sad.
I have been very good this yearâ€¦most of the time, and I hope that you can give me everything on my list for Christmas. Enough of the formalities, let's get to the point.
First, if you could go to all those morons who came up with the NCAA Bowl Championship Series and smack them upside the head with some large blunt object, that would be greatly appreciated by many college football fans across the country.
Second, thank you for helping the Twins get to the playoffs like I asked for last year.
Maybe this coming year you could keep us from getting swept in the first round.
That was kinda embarrassing.
Third, the NDSU football team had a great season, so I can cross that one off my list.
Fourth, if you could get the Minnesota Vikings back to the Super Bowl, I would appreciate that.
It would be nice if the Vikings actually WON the Super Bowl this time too
Fifth, please bring the Vikings a new stadium.
Sixth, on behalf of the entire country, please fill Ron Artest's stocking to the brim with coalâ€¦and snakes. Do this also for anyone who has actually purchased his CD.
Seventh, on a similar note, please give the execs at the NFL Network some taste in sophisticated television programming. Nuff said.
Eighth, I would like some game please. If I had some game, I would be the manâ€¦yo
And so Santa, these are the things that I want for Christmas. Please, please, please give me everything on my list. Like I said, I've been very good this yearâ€¦except for that one weekendâ€¦but other than that I've been really good. Thank you for your time Santa.
Re: My Letter to Santa
Not only a great list, but a hilarious letter