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  1. #1
    purplepat is offline Hall of Famer
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    Hilarious post from Viking Update Purple Thoughts board

    How Randy Stole the Playoffs or Why ESPN hated Randy

    Why ESPN hated Randy

    Most fans
    in Minnesota
    Liked Randy a lot...

    But the ESPN crew,
    who reported on TV,
    Did NOT!

    ESPN hated Randy!
    For the whole football season!
    Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
    It could be that Moss didn't treat reporters real nice.
    Maybe they didn't like his head coach Mike Tice.
    But I think that the most likely reason of all
    Is when they wanted an interview he wouldn't call.

    But,
    Whatever the reason,
    No calls or his boss,
    They sat there on TV, hating the Moss,
    Staring down from their studio with a sour, Berman frown
    Looking for new ways to put Randy down.
    For they knew that the best thing for boosting their rating
    is finding a player that all fans can start hating .

    "They backed into the playoffs !" "This should be fun!"
    "They play the Packers! They're practically done!"
    Then they laughed, with their mics in their hand,
    "This will be a great story out of Packer Land!"
    For, next week, they knew...

    ...All the Packers fans
    Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush to Lambeau!
    To see Favre throw! And he'd throw! And he'd throw! Throw! Throw! Throw!
    That's one thing they loved! Was the Throw! Throw! Throw! Throw!

    Then ESPN fans, young and old, would sit down for ESPN's best.
    It was the best of the best!
    The very BEST! BEST! BEST! BEST!
    They would start on SportCenter, and their best of the rest
    Then end their Sportscenter with a huge Farve lovefest!

    And THEN
    They'd do something they liked most of all!
    Every commentator on ESPN would give a gameball,
    They will sit close together, then Berman will say.
    "Walker from Favre he could go all the way!"

    They'd laugh! And they'd praise!
    AND they'd PRAISE! PRAISE! PRAISE! PRAISE!
    And the more that they thought of Farve and the Packers
    The more they called Moss and the Vikings "The slackers"
    "Lets do something to insure the loss!
    We must find something to discredit that Moss!
    ...But HOW?"

    Then got their chance!
    An really good chance!
    THE ESPN CREW
    GOT A WONDERFUL, Really good chance!

    In Washington Moss left the field with 2 seconds to go .
    They could bring up his past and other antics you know.
    And they chuckled, and laughed, "What huge rating hikes!
    "We can trash Moss and discredit the Vikes!"

    "All we need is ex-jocks..."
    As they contacted FOX.
    "Moss left the field early, he was not to be found.
    Did that stop the old Moss...?"
    " No!" The ESPN crew simply said,
    "If that isn't enough , we'll interview instead!"
    So they called Randy Moss. They got in his head
    They twisted and turned everything that he said .

    THEN
    They aired it
    and said of him leaving the game
    "This Randy Moss
    Is still the same."

    Then they all picked the Packers. They'd win for sure!
    Anything less - they wouldn't endure!
    "It will be a great story don't worry, don't fret.
    We can't lose because we are in love with our Brett!"

    Then they sat back for the game and all began grinning.
    "Nothing can stop the Packers from winning"

    Then they started the game in that sacred Lambeau,
    Where the Vikes can't win in the cold and the snow!
    "Pooh-pooh to the Vikes!" Berman was Farve-ish-ly humming.
    "There is no way they can stop a Packers win from coming!
    "They're just slackers! I know just what they'll do!
    "They will lose by a Field Goal in the last minute or two
    "Then all the Vikes Fans in Minnesota will cry BOO-HOO!"

    "That's a noise," grinned the ESPN Crew,
    "We simply must hear!"
    So they paused. And the Fox crew each put their hands to their ear.
    And they did hear a sound rising over the snow.
    It started in low. What was that sound coming out of Lambeau?

    But the sound was the Packers
    digging a hole.
    They sat with mouths wide open
    watching the Daunte Roll

    A TD to Williams
    on a short rollout toss!
    Then he threw one up
    To the Randy Moss!

    Every Packer in Lambeau, the tall and the small,
    Were crying! "We don't have much defense at all!"
    They hadn't stopped Moss from getting a score!
    IT CAME!
    And he wasn't happy he wanted some more!

    Then something special happened that day
    Their beleaguered Defense showed up to play!
    And in that game they didn't play quite so tight,
    They intercepted poor Brett Favre four times that night.

    And what happened then...?
    Well...in Minnesota they say
    That the Moss' butt
    Grew three sizes that day!
    And the minute his ankle didn't feel quite so sore,
    He caught a long pass that went for a score
    And then he did what all Moss haters won't forget soon!
    For he...
    ...Randy Moss...!
    Gave the Packers the Moon!
    SKOL VIKINGS!

  2. #2
    TheAnimal93 is offline Team Alumni
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    Hilarious post from Viking Update Purple Thoughts board

    that is great!!!!! ha ha
    how moss stole christmas!!!
    looks like we got the real presents this year.
    lets hope that there is more under the tree wrapped in purple.

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    65

    Hilarious post from Viking Update Purple Thoughts board

    That is a fantastic piece of poetry. I found myself loughing on severl parts.

    :salute:
    http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=102 252940

  4. #4
    AngloVike's Avatar
    AngloVike is offline Jersey Retired
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    Hilarious post from Viking Update Purple Thoughts board

    Great one ..... I can picture the ESPN and Fox people now as I read it
    Time spent annoying a Packer fan is never time wasted...


  5. #5
    josdin00's Avatar
    josdin00 is offline Ring of Fame
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    Hilarious post from Viking Update Purple Thoughts board

    Dr. Suesspepper?

  6. #6
    dart18's Avatar
    dart18 is offline Asst. Coach
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    Hilarious post from Viking Update Purple Thoughts board

    great
    Sometimes I like to think there is more to life than being you know. . . really really good looking.
    -Derrick Zoolander

  7. #7
    PhillyVikes's Avatar
    PhillyVikes is offline Starter
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    Hilarious post from Viking Update Purple Thoughts board

    awesome was laughing so hard thx

  8. #8
    blackstarz18's Avatar
    blackstarz18 is offline Coordinator
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    Hilarious post from Viking Update Purple Thoughts board

    hahaha. that's great
    "one thing about a birthday suit, it s always in style.
    And if it loses its shape it can be altered"

  9. #9
    VKG4LFE's Avatar
    VKG4LFE is offline Jersey Retired Tetris Champion, Monkey GO Happy 4 Champion
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    Hilarious post from Viking Update Purple Thoughts board

    That is awesome!! Did you come up with that purplepat?

    I get the most pissed off looks from people with my VKG 4 LFE Wisconsin license plate, and I LOVE IT!!

  10. #10
    RK.'s Avatar
    RK.
    RK. is offline Ring of Fame Rally Cross II Champion
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    Hilarious post from Viking Update Purple Thoughts board

    :lol: :thumbleft: Very Nice.

    WWBGD

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