Hilarious post from Viking Update Purple Thoughts board

**purplepat** · 01-12-2005, 12:12 PM

How Randy Stole the Playoffs or Why ESPN hated Randy

Why ESPN hated Randy

Most fans
in Minnesota
Liked Randy a lot...

But the ESPN crew,
who reported on TV,
Did NOT!

ESPN hated Randy!
For the whole football season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that Moss didn't treat reporters real nice.
Maybe they didn't like his head coach Mike Tice.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Is when they wanted an interview he wouldn't call.

But,
Whatever the reason,
No calls or his boss,
They sat there on TV, hating the Moss,
Staring down from their studio with a sour, Berman frown
Looking for new ways to put Randy down.
For they knew that the best thing for boosting their rating
is finding a player that all fans can start hating .

"They backed into the playoffs !" "This should be fun!"
"They play the Packers! They're practically done!"
Then they laughed, with their mics in their hand,
"This will be a great story out of Packer Land!"
For, next week, they knew...

...All the Packers fans
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush to Lambeau!
To see Favre throw! And he'd throw! And he'd throw! Throw! Throw! Throw!
That's one thing they loved! Was the Throw! Throw! Throw! Throw!

Then ESPN fans, young and old, would sit down for ESPN's best.
It was the best of the best!
The very BEST! BEST! BEST! BEST!
They would start on SportCenter, and their best of the rest
Then end their Sportscenter with a huge Farve lovefest!

And THEN
They'd do something they liked most of all!
Every commentator on ESPN would give a gameball,
They will sit close together, then Berman will say.
"Walker from Favre he could go all the way!"

They'd laugh! And they'd praise!
AND they'd PRAISE! PRAISE! PRAISE! PRAISE!
And the more that they thought of Farve and the Packers
The more they called Moss and the Vikings "The slackers"
"Lets do something to insure the loss!
We must find something to discredit that Moss!
...But HOW?"

Then got their chance!
An really good chance!
THE ESPN CREW
GOT A WONDERFUL, Really good chance!

In Washington Moss left the field with 2 seconds to go .
They could bring up his past and other antics you know.
And they chuckled, and laughed, "What huge rating hikes!
"We can trash Moss and discredit the Vikes!"

"All we need is ex-jocks..."
As they contacted FOX.
"Moss left the field early, he was not to be found.
Did that stop the old Moss...?"
" No!" The ESPN crew simply said,
"If that isn't enough , we'll interview instead!"
So they called Randy Moss. They got in his head
They twisted and turned everything that he said .

THEN
They aired it
and said of him leaving the game
"This Randy Moss
Is still the same."

Then they all picked the Packers. They'd win for sure!
Anything less - they wouldn't endure!
"It will be a great story don't worry, don't fret.
We can't lose because we are in love with our Brett!"

Then they sat back for the game and all began grinning.
"Nothing can stop the Packers from winning"

Then they started the game in that sacred Lambeau,
Where the Vikes can't win in the cold and the snow!
"Pooh-pooh to the Vikes!" Berman was Farve-ish-ly humming.
"There is no way they can stop a Packers win from coming!
"They're just slackers! I know just what they'll do!
"They will lose by a Field Goal in the last minute or two
"Then all the Vikes Fans in Minnesota will cry BOO-HOO!"

"That's a noise," grinned the ESPN Crew,
"We simply must hear!"
So they paused. And the Fox crew each put their hands to their ear.
And they did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. What was that sound coming out of Lambeau?

But the sound was the Packers
digging a hole.
They sat with mouths wide open
watching the Daunte Roll

A TD to Williams
on a short rollout toss!
Then he threw one up
To the Randy Moss!

Every Packer in Lambeau, the tall and the small,
Were crying! "We don't have much defense at all!"
They hadn't stopped Moss from getting a score!
IT CAME!
And he wasn't happy he wanted some more!

Then something special happened that day
Their beleaguered Defense showed up to play!
And in that game they didn't play quite so tight,
They intercepted poor Brett Favre four times that night.

And what happened then...?
Well...in Minnesota they say
That the Moss' butt
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his ankle didn't feel quite so sore,
He caught a long pass that went for a score
And then he did what all Moss haters won't forget soon!
For he...
...Randy Moss...!
Gave the Packers the Moon!

**TheAnimal93** · 01-12-2005, 12:22 PM

that is great!!!!! ha ha
how moss stole christmas!!!
looks like we got the real presents this year.
lets hope that there is more under the tree wrapped in purple.