Thread: Funny Bandwagon Article.
12-11-2003, 01:15 AM #1Team Alumni
- Join Date
- Dec 1969
Funny Bandwagon Article.
This has to be one of the funniest articles i ever seen.
I found this on another board but it originally was from Kfan. Check um out.
All aboard the Purple 'bandwagon'
Last Update: 12/10/2003 9:26:25 AM
No term is more overused in the Twin Cities than bandwagon.
Whoâ€™s on, whoâ€™s off â€“ and honestly, who cares?
The fascination with the attitudes of oneâ€™s fellow fan is mind-boggling. Just because Joe Blow in section 217 thinks Daunte should be moved to tight end doesnâ€™t mean that Mike Tice is scrambling to refigure the depth chart.
But the Rubes emerge after every game, calling Fanline to complain about people jumping on, off and around the proverbial bandwagon. (Considering two recent incidents involving defensive linemen, the â€œbandwagonâ€ probably isnâ€™t the wagon that the Vikings should be worried about people falling off of.)
Fans always join the bandwagon when a team succeeds, but those who jump off (the true â€œjumpersâ€) deserve the criticism.
The only thing worse than listening to people complain about these guys is actually watching a game with a bandwagon jumper. Whatever their trigger, a jumper inevitably will tick off everyone who just wants to enjoy the game.
The FAN has identified the ten basic classes of these bandwagon jumpers:
THE â€œBUT MY FAMILYâ€™S FROM DALLASâ€ JUMPER
Also known as the â€œI lived in Tampa until I was threeâ€ jumper and â€œI went to college in St. Louisâ€ jumper.
This guy pledges his allegiance to an out-of-town team â€“ until the home team starts winning. Suddenly that worn-out Troy Aikman jersey morphs into a purple-and-gold beads, and the term â€œweâ€ starts applying to the team that plays in the â€˜Dome.
But the moment the Vikings start heading to South again, his only reaction is, â€œWell, the Cowboys won, so Iâ€™m happyâ€¦â€
You like Dallas so much? Move there.
THE â€œI PLAY MADDEN 2004â€ JUMPER
This guy questions every play call during the game, citing what he would have done on Playstation.
â€œDude, Bennett has 99 speed in Madden,â€ guy rants. â€œI run single back, double-tight, counter right every first down, and he jukes the weak-side linebacker. Linehan doesnâ€™t know what heâ€™s doing.â€
Earth to this guy: not only does playing video games not qualify you to question real-life decisions, no one cares your success in Franchise mode. Seriously, no one. As long as there is a real live game on TV, video games should not be discussed.
(Note: This guy is a descendant of the kid who would take the Los Angeles Raiders in Tecmo Bowl and run Bo Jackson around left end every play. He inevitably would score 77 points and although neither player would enjoy it, winning was good enough for him. Tecmo Guy still is convinced that Jackson should be in the Hall of Fame based on that game.)
THE â€œWAIT â€˜TIL NEXT YEARâ€ JUMPER
This guy was talking draft after the loss to the Giants.
He cheers against the team down the stretch because they have â€œno chanceâ€ in the playoffs â€“ he would rather jump a few spots in next yearâ€™s draft than try to pull an upset in the first round.
At some point, next year must come around. You have to give this guy credit for sticking with the team in the long haul, but his constant comments (â€œYou know, this loss is probably better anywayâ€¦â€) get old really fast.
Watch out for this guy if the Vikings lose to the Bears.
THE â€œYOU DONâ€™T REMEMBER CARL ELLERâ€ JUMPER
This guy loves to support the team, but when they fail, heâ€™ll start picking on todayâ€™s â€œbrandâ€ of players.
â€œYou see this Moss kid?â€ guy complains, shifting positions in his BarcaLounger. â€œHeâ€™s walking out there. Gene Washington never took plays off. Sammy White never would have been lollygagging back to the line. Mardye McDole didnâ€™t dance around in the end zoneâ€¦â€
And so on. When in doubt, this guy ditches the team because of its â€œcharacter.â€
But heâ€™ll glad to cheer for a jerk who wins games.
THE â€œIN DENIALâ€ JUMPER
This guy keeps his jumps subtle. When the team is winning, theyâ€™re â€œthe Vikingsâ€ â€“ lose, and theyâ€™re â€œyour Vikings.â€
Listen carefully, these guys are crafty.
THE â€œPREMATURE CONDEMNATIONâ€ JUMPER
This guy actually jumps off and on the bandwagon several times a game. He is liable to turn off the TV after a crucial third-quarter turnover and vow to never watch again.
Heâ€™ll diving for the remote by the end of the commercial break.
This guy is kind of like a pathetic stock owner â€“ he loves to play the market, but heâ€™ll be on the phone with his broker the second that Microsoft dips a point.
Never go to this guyâ€™s house to watch a game, and definitely donâ€™t let him drive to the â€˜Dome.
THE â€œPLAY GUSâ€ JUMPER
Also known as â€œPlay Boumanâ€ jumper and â€œPlay Cunningham, wait, play Johnsonâ€ jumper.
This guy only understands one play in football: the deep ball. No matter how many points the team scores, heâ€™ll complain about the QBâ€™s skills if Randy Moss doesnâ€™t see the ball on at least a half-dozen post patterns.
This is the same guy who plays in a family football game on Thanksgiving and keeps saying â€œNo, seriously, Iâ€™ve got him beat. Just throw it long.â€
Heâ€™ll actually cheer for the starting quarterback to fail because the backup played so much better â€“ in two whole games! In the end, this guy usually clings to the bandwagonâ€™s bumper long enough for the starting QB to get back in the groove.
THE â€œWHATEVER MANâ€ JUMPER
As the game slips away from the home team, this guy loves to put on a small smile as though he is amused that everyone else is yelling/crying/breaking things.
Everyone wants to punch this guy in the face at that moment, because they remember how much he celebrated in victory. Yet there he is, laughing as though lamenting the loss is below him. Heâ€™s off the bandwagon before it even has wheels.
But somehow, you know this guy goes home and has a complete meltdown. That kind of makes it all worthwhile.
THE â€œBUSCH LIGHTâ€ JUMPER
This guy tailgates too long before every game, making him the loudest cheerer â€“ and the first to chalk up the loss.
Never take this particular jumper to the â€˜Dome.
Example: The Vikings put together a nice drive to open the game, but Moe Williams coughs up the ball near the goal line.
â€œThatâ€™s it,â€ guy says, sloshing a 3.2 Budweiser on your shirt. â€œYou canâ€™t turn that ball over. Thereâ€™s no wayâ€¦Moeâ€¦look atâ€¦I need a pretzelâ€¦â€
The Purple later lose in a thrilling game, but the jumper only remembers that first play â€“ largely because he spent most of the second half in the bathroom. But heâ€™ll complain the whole way home that Moe blew the game and heâ€™ll never watch again.
THE â€œYOUâ€™RE A BANDWAGON JUMPERâ€ JUMPER
The worst bandwagon jumper of all.
True, this guy will support his team until the day he dies, but he has a built-in fandom radar. Any negative comments from people around him, and heâ€™ll say the word bandwagon so much that you become glad youâ€™re not on it anymore.
He doesnâ€™t jump off the Vikings bandwagon â€“ he jumps off the â€œhaving friendsâ€-wagon.
â€œMan, itâ€™s just not Daunteâ€™s day out there,â€ you observe. â€œItâ€™s tough to win when you throw four picks.â€
â€œGreat, just keep being a fair-weather fan,â€ guy fumes. â€œYou know you can leave anytime.â€
No matter how much you love the Purple, you suddenly would rather spend a weekend with Clay Aiken, Byron Chamberlain and the Arbyâ€™s Oven Mitt than watch a game with this guy.
So remember: No matter how annoying bandwagon fans may be, nothing is worse than the guy who insists upon calling them out.
Donâ€™t be that guy.
Hupo oe ke kau ana i ka waiupa a ma kou pa o & Hupo na Po o waiupa a
12-11-2003, 02:42 AM #2
Funny Bandwagon Article.God Bless America, & the MINNESOTA VIKINGS!!!
12-11-2003, 10:21 AM #3
Funny Bandwagon Article.Sometimes I like to think there is more to life than being you know. . . really really good looking.
12-11-2003, 11:11 AM #4Starter
- Join Date
- Dec 1969
Funny Bandwagon Article.Bleed Purple or Die
12-12-2003, 02:27 AM #5Team Alumni
- Join Date
- Dec 1969
Funny Bandwagon Article.Hupo oe ke kau ana i ka waiupa a ma kou pa o & Hupo na Po o waiupa a
12-12-2003, 11:03 AM #6
Funny Bandwagon Article.
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