Something every damn one of you needs to read

http://deadspin.com/5667863/our-resident-sex-addict-settles-a-bet-regarding-decuple-penetration

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Mark S. From Boston:

Can being an NFL head coach be THAT hard? I mean, obviously if you went out on the field and played quarterback, you'd get wrecked. But coaching is a whole other beast. That lacks athletic skill, which works for me. I feel my play calling would be decent, but would easily turn it over to my coordinators if that didn't work. In fact, I'd turn most of my shit over to my coordinators, anyway. Game management (time outs, etc.) would be solid after playing Madden for a decade. Plus, I'm a rather likable guy and a leader, so the players would probably like me. Plus, I'm kind of eloquent, so throw a microphone in front of me at a press conference and I'll rattle off all the "We just gotta execute in all facets of the game on Sunday," bullshit. I could take over a decent roster and go 8-8, easy.

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No, you couldn't. You really couldn't. You'd get destroyed. Particularly if you have no background, no resume to speak of, and are coming in completely cold to the process. I'm not gonna defend the Brad Childresses of the world, because Brad Childress is fucking horrible. But there are numerous guys like him out there, who have spent their whole lives studying football and working in football, and even THEY fuck up the end of games. What prayer do you have of doing any better? Because you played Madden? You can PAUSE Madden. Everything seems easy until you have to do it, and that includes figuring out whether or not to burn a timeout with millions of people watching you and players and coaches looking to YOU for guidance.

This is why I like being a fan. I like maintaining the illusion that I'm way fucking smarter than some asshole coach. But, deep in my heart, I know damn well that if you forced me to walk that sideline, I would make the EXACT same horrible mistakes that the Les Mileses of the universe make. In fact, I'd find even BIGGER ways to fuck up. I'd be unable to work the headset. I'd spill water all over my shirt. I'd trip over all the wires cluttering up the sideline. I go to football games as a fan and I lose track of the score and the clock sometimes. I have NO other job as a fan at a game other than to watch the stupid thing. Yet even I lose track of that shit. I can't even imagine how hard it is to keep track of basic things when you have to spend three hours coordinating between five zillion people. Everything changes when the spotlight is on you, even if you fancy yourself the fucking VP of Common Sense or whatever asshole title you think of. This isn't a defense of someone like Wade Phillips. He sucks. But just because he sucks doesn't mean there are millions of people out there who could do it any better. There aren't. If there were, you'd be coaching Dallas by now.

Then there's the actual business of being a head coach. Coaches work 100-hour weeks. They're never allowed a moment to rest. Ever. And they have to study tape. I had to study tape when I rode the bench. It's the most boring thing ever. You could put me in a fucking jail cell and force me to listen to Rob Thomas records for the rest of my life, and I still wouldn't be as bored as I am watching tape. Being a coach is the worst fucking job in the world outside of being president, which is why only idiotic assholes end up being coaches or presidents.

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=Z=

Yeah, I would never choose to be a head coach.

Only an idiot would.

Some of those idiots are good at it, at least for a while.

Others don't have a clue.

Caution opening this if your at work and your company tracks for certain things.

I don't think the content is bad, but the title that comes up has words in it that triggered the sniffers here at work.

That is a very good response to an idiot.

I know all of us here are armchair coaches/QBs/RBs/DCs and punters ... but in the end, there is a reason we are watching at home.

I do *think* I could coach at the high school level, but even then ... not as a head coach ... it is arrogant and flat out ignorant of ANYONE to think that they know football better than even Wade Phillips or Brad Childress ... because quite simply, you don't.

As the guy said ... that does not mean they are good coaches, but them being awful certainly does not mean you could do it.

So... two guys who aren't football coaches discuss what it's like to be a football coach?

Yeah, that's a must read for sure.

Brick wrote:

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So... two guys who aren't football coaches discuss what it's like to be a football coach?

Yeah, that's a must read for sure.

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And, as usual, the point is totally missed.

Why am I not surprised that one of the biggest "I Know Better" posters finds no value?

=Z=

Zeus wrote:

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Brick wrote:

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So... two guys who aren't football coaches discuss what it's like to be a football coach?

Yeah, that's a must read for sure.

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And, as usual, the point is totally missed.

Why am I not surprised that one of the biggest "I Know Better" posters finds no value?

=Z=

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So, you think Drew Magary offers valuable insight as to what it entails to be an NFL QB? Then he must have some other articles about the topic, right?

Some of Drew's other articles:

Cockblocked In The Car Hole! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE

Does Breast Cancer Unfairly Hog The Cancer Spotlight?

You Aren’t Gay If You Kiss A Girl After Oral Sex

Yeah... I'm sure he has some great insight.

Great source, Zeus.

midgensa wrote:

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That is a very good response to an idiot.

I know all of us here are armchair coaches/QBs/RBs/DCs and punters ... but in the end, there is a reason we are watching at home.

I do *think* I could coach at the high school level, but even then ... not as a head coach ... it is arrogant and flat out ignorant of ANYONE to think that they know football better than even Wade Phillips or Brad Childress ... because quite simply, you don't.

As the guy said ... that does not mean they are good coaches, but them being awful certainly does not mean you could do it.

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Coaching is MUCH harder than it appears from the comforts of our home armchairs. A buddy of mine coaches pee wee ball and even at that level it is impressive at what goes into coaching a game from start to finish. We're talking O-coordinators, D-coordinators, HC, game plan, pepping up the kids, dealing with injuries, fighting bad calls, calling the right plays. It's non stop from 1st to 3th, and these are 5th graders! A lot of effort and planning goes into something even as simple as pee-wee ball. A lot of things that us fans take for granted.

That beign said, at the NFL level when you are being paid millions of dollars you better execute a solid damn game plan and manage the damn clock. Doesn't mean I could do it (I don't claim I could), but I'm not on the NFL payroll either.

Brick wrote:

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So... two guys who aren't football coaches discuss what it's like to be a football coach?

Yeah, that's a must read for sure.

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+1

Who gives a shit. We are fans. We are suppose to discuss how much of an idiot we think a coach is. Don't act like coaches don't get fired. It is a tough job but we have the right to bitch about it. I spend a lot of money.

Tony Dungy is an extremely smart guy and he says he would never be so crazy or stupid as to go back to coaching again.

That's one educated vote for sanity.

I, for one, wish he'd be stupid and crazy enough to get talked into coaching the Vikings!